Sadly, the truth. That's why the King of Pathetic is still in the running for our collective favor (which we all - the 70 - 80% - know he will never win. Umair).

The more pathetic truth? The Zombie King may win again - because Americans are lazy, entitled and Election Days are not considered National Holidays. So the voting population is forced to work that day - most likely at a job that doesn't pay a #LivingWage, instead of exercising our civic duty, our 'autonomy' to 'choose' our representation.